A Guide to Error Messages

...from the net.

     USER-FRIENDLY
     -------------
     C:\> DUR
     Command not found. Try retyping

     USER-HELPFUL
     ------------
     C:\> DUR
     I don't understand DUR. Do you mean DIR ?

     USER-UNFRIENDLY
     ---------------
     C:\> DUR
     C:\> DUR
     C:\> DUR
     C:\> DUR

     USER-HOSTILE
     ------------
     C:\> DUR
     Ha! A mistake! I'm sure you meant to say FORMAT, so that's what
     I'll do.

     USER-INDIFFERENT
     ----------------
     C:\> DUR
     DUR?

     USER-PATRONISING
     ----------------
     C:\> DUR

     Now, that's not quite right is it? Let's try again; this time,
     use the manual that the nice salesperson gave you when you bought me.

     USER-OBSEQUIOUS
     ---------------
     C:\> DUR
     I'm so very, very sorry but I don't understand that. I'm sure it
     was my fault, but if you would please try again I'll do my best.

     USER-SARCASTIC
     --------------
     C:\> DUR
     Well, Look who's made a mistake then. Very unusual, I don't
     think.

     USER-INSULTING
     --------------
     C:\> DUR
     S*d off
     C:\> DIR
     S*d off

     USER-SMUG
     ---------
     C:\> DUR
     No
     C:\> DOR
     Nope
     C:\> HELP
     No
     C:\> PLEASE
     Not unless you give me a 300Mb hard disk to live on.
     C:\> B*ST*RD
     Abuse will get you nowhere

     USER-ANALYTICAL
     ---------------
     C:\> DUR
     What makes you say that?
     C:\> A TYPING MISTAKE
     How long have you been making these mistakes?
     C:\> BANANAS
     Do you like bananas?
     C:\> I LOVE THEM
     Why do you bring up the subject of love?
     ...etc

     USER-McDONALD
     -------------
     May I help you please?
     C:\> DUR
     I'm sorry but that command is not available at this time. Have  a
     nice day.
     C:\> DIR
     Will that be an MS-DOS directory?
     C:\> YES
     To read here, or for printout to take away?
     C:\> HERE
     Thank you. Have a nice day.

     USER-MEGALOMANIAC
     -----------------
     C:\> DUR
     Don't bother me with trivial requests. I'm busy.