How to use the Bathroom:

An Introduction for Students,

and anyone else who needs it.

Every year I am amazed and disgusted by the state in which people leave the Men's room in Fuller Labs. I'd like to offer some simple guidelines to help those who have not had any formal bathroom training. For your convenience (so to speak) they appear below. I have no personal experience of whether the Women's room is treated as badly. However, these guidelines should apply equally well to either gender. Experienced bathroom users should feel free to suggest additions or corrections.

  • Flush when you're done!
  • Waste products from your body should be flushed away and not left on the toilet seat, floor, walls, doors, ceiling, or anywhere else!
  • You do not need to use a whole roll of paper!
  • Leave all fixtures and fittings in the bathroom in the same place and state in which you found them upon entering!
  • If you see a toilet bowl that's already almost overflowing because it is stopped up, do not flush it!
  • Wash your hands afterwards, and put the used paper towel in the trash can!
  • Toilet paper and Paper Towels are not a form of carpet!
  • Don't smoke!
  • Cut your hair and trim your nails somewhere else!

Make Thomas Crapper proud of you!; Fri Dec 15 17:55:19 EST 1995