Subject: Dave Barry's Windows problem

WINDOWS PROBLEM
I'm wondering if anybody can help me with a problem I'm having on my
computer at work. I recently upgraded to Windows 95 from Windows
3.1416, and I've noticed that when I running WordWanker Version 2.0.9.4
(which I upgraded from 1.8.4.7) in conjunction with FaxBuddy! Version
4.2.4.3.7857, everything works fine for about the first 25 minutes, but
then if I try to type a subordinating conjunction followed by any form
of the verb foment, the keyboard locks up permanently and the hard
drive makes a whimpering sound and all current data is erased,
including data in computers several cubicles away. I have tried
everything, including reformatting my hard drive and exorcism. Please
help!

REPLY TO: WINDOWS PROBLEM
I had exactly the same problem, and after a lot of trial and error I
found out that if you click on the Windows Control Panel, then on
Command Center, then on Reset Variables, then on Establish New
Parameters, then on Define Standards, then on Modify Criteria, then on
Effectuate Paradigms, then on the little icon that says Do Not Ever
Click On This Little Icon, then go down to the box that says Enter New
Value, and type in 2038, you will still have the same problem. This is
why I started using heroin.