It seems that a man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open 
table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his 
elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a 
clean spoon and set it on the table. 

The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters carry spoons in their 
pockets?"  The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since we had that efficiency 
expert out; he determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off 
the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the 
kitchen." The diner ate his meal. 

As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but 
do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"   The waiter 
replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert 
determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using 
the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. 

When I need to go, I simply pull the string, go, and return to work. 
Having never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves 
a lot of time." "Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get  your 
penis back in your pants?"  "Well, I don't know about the other guys, 
but I use the spoon."