A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and having been told that
there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it
in the races.

However, at the local auction, the prices for horses were so steep the
preacher decided to purchase a donkey instead.

He figured that since he had it he would go a head and enter it in the
races anyway.  Lo and behold, the donkey came in third!  The next day the
daily racing journal carried this headline:

"PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS"

The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the
next day's races.  This time the donkey won!  The newspaper headline read:

"PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT"

The bishop was so upset with this publicity that he ordered the preacher
not to enter the donkey in another race.  The next day's headline read:

"BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS"

This was too much for the bishop so he ordered the preacher to get rid of
the donkey at once.  The preacher donated the donkey to a sister at the
local convent.  The next day's headline read:

"NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN"

The bishop fainted when he read it.  He later told the nun that she must
now get rid of the donkey too.  She finally found a farmer who bought the
donkey for $10.  The next day the paper's headline read:

"NUN PEDDLES ASS FOR TEN BUCKS"

They buried the bishop the next day.  The obituary read:

"TOO MUCH ASS RESPONSIBLE FOR BISHOP'S DEATH"