IF OPERATING SYSTEMS WERE AIRLINES
<HR>
<PRE>
DOS Air:

Passengers walk out onto the runway, grab hold of the
plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, then jump off
when it hits the ground.  They grab the plane again,
push it back in the air, hop on, jump off!

Mac Airways:

The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same
and act the same.  When you ask them questions about the
flight,they reply you don't want to know, don't need to know,
and would you please return to your seat and watch the
movie.

Windows Airlines:

The terminal is neat and clean, the attendants courteous,
the pilots capable. The fleet of Lear Jets the carrier
operates is immense.  Your jet takes off without a hitch,
pushes above the clouds, and, at 20,000 feet, explodes
without warning.

OS/2 Skyways:

The terminal is almost empty, only a few prospective
passengers mill about. The announcer says that a flight has
just departed, although no planes appear to be on the
runway.  Airline personnel apologize profusely to customers
in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek,
powerful jets outside.  They tell each passenger how great
the flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will
be than Windows Airlines, but they will have to wait a little
longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe
until mid-1995.  Maybe longer.

Fly Windows NT:

Passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac and place
them in the outline of a plane.  They sit down, flap their arms,
and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.

Unix Express:

Passengers bring a piece of the airplane and a box of tools
with them to the airport.  They gather on the tarmac, arguing
about what kind of plane they want to build.  The
passengers split into groups and build several different
aircraft, but give them all the same name.  Only some
passengers reach their destinations, but all of them
believe they arrived.
</PRE>