Mottos to Live By
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* If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
* A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
* Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
* For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
* He who hesitates is probably right.
* Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
* No one is listening until you make a mistake.
* Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view
* The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
* The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the
  bread
* The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach
* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
  research
* To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your
  principles
* Two wrongs are only the beginning
* Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their
  level of incompetence
* You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive
* The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard
* Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life
* The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up
* The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching
  train
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