Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reactions?
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Optimist:
  The glass is half full.

Pessimist:
  The glass is half empty.

Futurist:
  The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.

Pascal Programmers:
  Well, what TYPE of milk is it?

C Programmers:
  No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.

Assembly programmers:
  No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.

Basic Programmers:
  No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.

MIS COBOL Programmers:
  I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.

Fuzzy logic guys:
  I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

Prolog Programmers:
  I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.

Non-procedural language programmers:
  I drank it when nobody was looking.

UI designers:
  What's that crap in my glass?

Pentium users:
  I drank Glass*.499999999...but don't hold me to that.

Windows users:
  Where's my straw?

Mac users:
  Where's my pump?

UNIX users:
  Nahhh...too easy.

Multimedia author:
  < slurp! >

Shareware game author:
  That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

Security Consultant:
  Where'd the rest of the milk go?

CIA:
  What makes you think that's milk?

NSA:
  We know what it REALLY is.

Copy protection crazies:
  Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!

Free software foundation:
  That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!

Schroedinger:
  That damned cat got into the milk again!

Bill Gates:
  Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk*TM.

Apple Computer:
  You guys really auto be drinking Perrier.

IBM:
  Rent the glass from us and we;ll fill it with something
  we know is good for you.

IRS:
  Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.

National news media:
  Hey, we wanted OJ!
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