Poorly Worded Ads
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2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings,
555-1234. Leave mess.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the
family.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children
$2.00

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and
large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair
to take home, too.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by
hand.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan
Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim
in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and
other athletic facilities.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that
many women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References
required.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and
smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll
never go anywhere again.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue
Cross and salary.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume
general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth
of family.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for
efficient beating.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore -- unequaled in size, unmatched in variety,
unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for
$1.00.
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