30 FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR
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1. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other
   passengers.

2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up,
   damned, all of you just Shut Up!"

3. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

4. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got
   enough air in there?"

5. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.  Wear yours upside
   down.

6. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
   getting off.

7. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
   then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

8. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

9. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them
   to call you Admiral.

10. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open
    until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go *plink* at the
    bottom.

11. Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce:
    "I've got new socks on!"

12. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now,
    damn motion sickness!"

13. Meow occasionally.

14. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

15. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

16. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

17. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

18. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human head" on the side.

19. Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce: "You're one of
    THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

20. Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty."

21. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

22. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

23. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

24. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons.

25. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
    passengers that this is your "personal space."

27. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in
    muh mowf?"

28. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

29. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

30. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
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