How does a chicken cross the road?
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<PRE>
NT Chicken:
     Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

OS/2 Chicken:
     It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that
     nobody noticed.

Win 95 Chicken:
     You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it
     and it still tastes like  ...chicken.

Microsoft Chicken (TM):
     It's already on both sides of the road.  And it just bought the road.

OOP Chicken:
     It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken:
     First it builds the road ...

C Chicken:
     It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken:
     The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to
     him on the other side.

VB Chicken:
     USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

Delphi Chicken:
     The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Java Chicken:
     If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will
     download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)

Web Chicken:
     Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken:
     Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton Chicken:
     Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it
     across the road in your pocket!

Cray Chicken:
     Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in
     liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Quantum Logic Chicken:
     The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the
     road until you observe it on the side of your course.

Lotus Chicken:
     Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

Mac Chicken:
     No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road,
     so there's no way to tell it to.

Al Gore Chicken:
     Waiting for completion of NCI (Nation Chicken-crossing 
     Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as it's finished, assuming
     he's re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the program.

COBOL Chicken:
     0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
     IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
        PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
        VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
           ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
     ELSE
        GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
</PRE>