A compendium of what Bart actually wrote on the chalkboard at the
beginning of each episode.
<HR>
<PRE>
  I will not waste chalk
  I will not aim for the head
  I will not skateboard in the halls 
  I will not barf unless I'm sick
  I will not burp in class
  I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty 
  I will not instigate revolution
  I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge 
  I will not draw naked ladies in class
  I will not conduct my own fire drills 
  I did not see Elvis
  Funny noises are not funny
  I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes' 
  I will not snap bras
  Garlic gum is not funny
  I will not fake seizures
  They are laughing at me, not with me
  This punishment is not boring and meaningless 
  I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom 
  My name is not Dr. Death
  I will not encourage others to fly 
  I will not defame New Orleans
  I will not fake my way through life 
  I will not prescribe medication
  Tar is not a plaything
  I will not bury the new kid
  I will not Xerox my butt
  I will not teach others to fly
  It's potato, not potatoe
  I will not bring sheep to class
  I will not trade pants with others 
  A burp is not an answer
  I am not a 32 year old woman
  Teacher is not a leper
  I will not do that thing with my tongue 
  Coffee is not for kids.
  I will not drive the principal's car 
  I will not eat things for money
  I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
  I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call 
  I will not sell school property
  The principal's toupee is not a frisbee. 
  I will not cut corners
  I will not squeak chalk
  I will not get very far with this attitude. 
  Goldfish don't bounce
  I will not make flatulent noises in class. 
  Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
  I will not belch the National Anthem
  No one is interested in my underpants. 
  I will not sell land in Florida
  I will not sell miracle cures
  I will not grease the monkey bars
  Underwear should be worn on the inside
  I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment 
  The Christmas pageant does not stink
  I will not do anything bad ever again
  I will not torment the emotionally frail 
  I will not show off
  I will not carve gods
  I will not sleep through my education 
  I will not spank others
  I am not a dentist
  I will not bribe Principal Skinner 
  Spitwads are not free speech.
  I will finish what I start
  Nobody likes sunburn slappers
  "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
  High explosives and school don't mix 
  Hamsters cannot fly
</PRE>