1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your 
     e-mail on the way back to bed.

  2. You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape 
     Navigator 1.1 or higher."

  3. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom. 

  4. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you 
     just pulled the plug on a loved one.

  5. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and 
     your child in the overhead compartment.

  6. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for 
     the free Internet access.

  7. You laugh at people with 2400-baud modems. 

  8. You start using smileys in your snail mail. 

  9. Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You
     start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's 
     access number.  You try to hum to communicate with the modem.  And 
     you succeed.

 10. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word
     processor.com

 11. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

 12. You start introducing yourself as "David at I-I-Net dot net dot com"

 13. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

 14. Your dog has its own home page.

 15. You can't call your mother . . . she doesn't have a modem.

 16. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

 17. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

 18. You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because
     they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

 19. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

 20. You tell the cab driver you live at
     http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html

 21. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.